


Gacha whales hate them! Local Summoner gets Fell Dragon a date with this 1 weird trick!

by Dawn_Blossom



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Crack, M/M, reuploaded from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23799406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawn_Blossom/pseuds/Dawn_Blossom
Summary: A glitch in the system allows the Summoner to merge 10 normal Robins with 1 Grima to create a +10 powerhouse.All of the Robins are gay for Chrom.
Relationships: Chrom/Gimurei | Grima, Chrom/My Unit | Reflet | Robin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 100





	Gacha whales hate them! Local Summoner gets Fell Dragon a date with this 1 weird trick!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I originally posted this on [my tumblr](https://the-priestess-of-dawn.tumblr.com/post/176563991803/boodabear001-me-my-sister-and-a-friend-were) about 2 years ago. If this seems familiar to you, that's probably why. It was just a fun little thing that I wrote up in a couple hours in response to another post more or less along the lines of "gay Robins in Grima's head, writers/artists have at it." So I had at it. 
> 
> Why didn't I post it to AO3 two years ago? Because it's a pure crackfic. Why am I posting it now? Because I miss posting Chrom/Grima but unfortunately I'm having a bit of writer's block at the moment. Yes, I long for content so much that I'm willing to dredge up a 2-year-old crackfic. What can you do?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fic!

“This shouldn’t be possible,” Grima growls. “I am not the same as those… fools.”

Ten idiotic amnesiac tacticians sit in front of him, huddled together and chattering inanely amongst themselves.

“It’s definitely a glitch, but I’m totally exploiting it,” the Summoner says cheerfully. “Plus ten Grima, here I come!”

The Summoner touches a finger to their strange electrical device, and suddenly, the ten Robins are gone…

‘Actually, we’re right here,’ Robin’s voice sounds in Grima’s head.

‘Ugh, not AGAIN,’ another Robin says. ‘I just got OUT of Grima’s head in my world!’

A few more Robins mutter their agreement.

Grima presses his hands to his temples, though it does nothing to relieve the headache that the ten Robins are giving him.

“What have you done to me, worm?” he growls at the Summoner, who only shrugs.

“Hey, I made you stronger.” They grin. “Come on, you’re like a billion years old. I’m sure you can handle it!”

“A _billion years_ —” Grima exclaims. “You little…”

‘Hey, how old are we?’ one of the Robins asks. ‘I sort of just assumed I was an adult when I woke up, but as far as my actual age goes…’

‘Oh, we’d better have been adults,’ another Robin says. ‘I was doing Chrom after, like, a week of knowing him, so…’

The chorus of approving murmurs is loud enough to force Grima to close his eyes.

‘Those eyes of his are sexy. Not too bad for a first memory.’

‘Damn, it took me _two years_ to get him to confess to me. He was about to marry a _village maiden!_ ’

‘I just couldn’t keep it in my pants after the first time we teamed up in battle. Have you SEEN those muscles?’

‘Mmm, and that ass!’

‘Working out doesn’t just benefit him on the battlefield, that’s for sure!’

‘But speaking of battlefields, I was about to get hit by an axe and he growled as he blocked it. It was so hot.’

‘Ugh, everything about his voice is too sexy. You guys let him talk dirty to you, right?’

‘Oh, yeah. Duh.’

‘THAT’S ENOUGH OUT OF ALL OF YOU!’ Grima shouts at the idiots in his head. ‘Do you mean to tell me that _all_ of you are gay for that gods-damned Ylissean prince?’

‘Uh… Yeah, I guess.’

‘Can we go see him?’

‘Yes, he’ll know what to do in this situation! He’s our trusted leader for a reason!’

‘NO,’ Grima insists. ‘We are NOT visiting any of Naga’s children, you blasphemous little shits. We are the fell dragon; get used to it!’

‘Aww, but Chrom will understand!’

‘Just for five minutes?’

‘Come on…’

‘NO!’ Grima repeats. This is his body and that puts him in charge of its activities.

… Five minutes later, Grima is scowling as he makes his way to the nearest Chrom. Turns out that the Robins can scream without break now that they’re in his head and don’t need to breathe air. He had to relent just to shut them up.

“Chrom!” he growls as soon as he catches sight of the man’s feather-soft blue hair. “For GOD’S sake, will you—”

He pauses as Chrom turns around, those deep blue eyes of his narrowing. Pale lips part slightly to reveal perfect teeth. Chrom says something, but the words dissolve into abstract sounds as they reach Grima’s ears.

Damn it… How the _hell_ can any human look like that. He is like a god of beauty.

…

Wait…

‘WHICH OF YOU CHROMFUCKERS MADE ME THINK THAT?’ he demands to the Robins in his mind.

For a moment, awkward silence reigns. Then…

‘Uh, that wasn’t us.’

‘You had that thought all on your own.’

‘Not that we don’t agree…’

Grima is taken aback. But if it wasn’t the Robins’ fault, that would mean…

‘One of us,’ a Robin whispers.

‘One of us…’ the others echo. ‘One of us!’

The cheering quickly turns into chanting.

‘One of us! One of us! One of us!’

“No…” Grima groans. “I’m a god… This doesn’t happen to me…”

“What’s happening to you?” Chrom asks.

Grima blinks. Shit, his voice _is_ too sexy.

He clears his throat as his stupid human heart takes to palpitating.

“I came to ask… Will you…” It is suddenly impossible to remember his original question. Curse this body and its memory problems.

‘Will you go to dinner with me?’ a Robin prompts.

“Will you go to dinner with me?” Grima repeats.

Wait… That was _not_ what he was going to say.

And Chrom doesn’t expect it, either. His jaw drops, and he takes a step back.

“E-Er…” Chrom’s face flushes, but he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes again, he smiles.

“I have ten voices telling me to say no to this,” he says. “But… yes.”

‘YES!’ the Robins scream joyfully.

Grima, despite his best efforts, ends up smiling, too.


End file.
